3 ways to handle negotiators with big egos

They're not in charge!

A negotiating phrase I was taught many years ago: - "Let them feel important; you focus on the deal". These are wise words that I'll always remember and ones that I share with my clients every day. Most of us have negotiated with someone with a big ego; perhaps you identify with this trait yourself. However, when it's time to negotiate, you'd be well advised to leave your ego at the door because it won't help you. Here are 3 tips to handle big egos.

1. Don't take them on

In the heat of a negotiation, it can be so tempting to get into a battle of words with the other party. Have you ever looked back at a heated conversation and said - "why did I get sucked into that?" It made you feel good at the time, but on reflection it didn't help one bit. Getting into an argument is futile, so you must learn to control your emotions and bite your tongue. That's not to say you should roll over, but even an egotist can reflect on their behaviour afterwards and realise the error of their ways.

2. Mind your language

Someone with an ego will pounce on any submissive language you use, so keep your words direct and to the point. Avoid words like possibly, sort of, kind of and you know, and say what you mean. Similarly, keep things factual as opposed to how you feel about things, as an egotist is not interested in how you're feeling.

3. Use silence

This is such a powerful weapon in any negotiation. Silence makes most people feel uncomfortable and is a great tool to disarm your counterpart. An egotist will soon see that you have more self-control than they do and the balance of power will shift. Not easy to do, but extremely impactful.

Try these 3 tips the next time you come up against a big ego.